Tuesday, April 22, 2014

"As the Mottled Night Leaves What It Cannot Save"

This quote is a line from Samuel Barber's "To Be Sung on the Water" which I love to sing. Only every time I sing that phrase," ...what it cannot save" I think ruefully of how I MUST SING SOMETIMES, and I leave what I cannot save in that I cannot help someone who may suffer the consequences. I must stay sane above all else.

I also notice that my dog, Tilly, acquires the sweetest smile of contentment when I sing,"To Be Sung on the Water," as my last dog did. Another small creature also enjoys the sound of my voice singing, and she will always know it, for which I am eternally grateful.
Another day of having my "endometriosis" turn and kick me in the stomach, another day of looking out for suspicious vans, another day of slow hell.

I guess it's still legal for my mother to mention what her mother's maiden name is--as one has to for the Social Security Department and just about every legal form--but somehow it's taboo for me to mention what her mother's--my very grandmother's--maiden name was. As if the DNA stopped with my mother---bullshit!!I was not created out of thin air or magic dust, nor solely out of my father's genes.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Have a Blessed Easter Everyone

I didn't want to injure anyone with my banned voice, but I don't know how to worship Jesus without singing, so I didn't go to church today.
A few weeks ago, a woman said to me, Bless us with your singing, which I thought was apropos, however conceited that sounds.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Dallas Buyer's Club : Not What It Claims to Be

Despite Matthew McConaughey's excellent acting in this film, and his gratitude towards God in his Oscar acceptance speech, watching Dallas Buyer's Club still left me with a sullied, almost violated feeling from all of the egregiously voyueristic close ups of female butt cheeks, breasts, and girl on girl stripper sex. I was grateful only for Netflix so that I could constantly fast forward, especially when a stripper's naked butt filled the entire screen. Seeing women filmed so callously this way deeply offended me as a woman. Undoubtedly, the audience did not need all those gratuitiously sleazy visuals---whose only  effect was of making prostitutes out of unknown actresses whom no one will remember---in order to get the idea that the main character of Ron Woodruff led a white trash life. His constant use of the "f " word and the fa#g#t word was enough to tell us that.

It is ironic also how transvestites like Jared Leto's character were portrayed as being classier than the average straight female in the film, with the exception of the Madonna- like stock character of the doctor with whom Woodruff is in love. So straight women are either madonnas or whores, this movie says, while gay men and transvestites are fully fledged, complex people.

Essentially, McConaughey won the Oscar for this movie because of its political sympathy for AIDS and all the titillating sex and nudity, not because his acting was any better than his excellent acting in 2012's Mud, a drama that I loved.  In my opinion, Dallas Buyer's Club is not much to be proud of, for its negative treatment of women as degrading sex objects outweighs its expose value concerning AZT and big pharm manipulation. It's nice that McConaughey is grateful to God, and he seems like a decent person, but making movies full of such egregiously graphic nudity and degradation of women  is not consistant with being a Christian, something he was raised to be.

Friday, April 18, 2014


Today I had some poetry submissions returned to me in the US mail as undeliverable even though the address is correct and my handwriting is extremely clear. Like I said, Fuck the US government. I know this is not an accident.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Fuck the US government

I let my pit bull eat the US flag last week, because it is good for nothing as there is no freedom left in this country, or the world, for that matter.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Purpose of this blog

I am not writing to purposely offend, yet I am not writing to make friends. As Jesus said, I come with a sword to divide. I am writing to speak the truth that I have a need to say and a God given right to say. Most of all, I express the truth to survive.